Somewhere they fall.
They mess up or max out. Something breaks or shuts down and they either slip….or fall.
Is it the end of the world?
No.
Does it feel like it is to them?
Yes.

Coaching gives you a front row seat to the struggle to get from Point A…..to Point B.
Since there’s a high possibility for your client to experience this, you may want to learn how to analyze what happened.  
Here’s some pro-tips on what to ask and how to look at this.

First, just so you know, this same process works on my $5k clients as much as it works on my $50k+ clients.

To start, you want to use a diagram.  Either sketch this out on the white board or a paper.  You will be using arrows…and stick figure….a star for what they were working towards…and a reference point for A and for B.  A = where they were currently “AT” and the B point is to reference where they are headed next.  This diagram is being used to trigger their mind to disclose where this whole journey fell apart.  Without a diagram, they are going to guess at what happened whereas using a diagram you will get more of an accurate description of the problem which makes it easier to solve.

We all know as coaches that when a client has an unsolved problem…they freeze up and slow down.

In this diagram below you see that I added Point A, Point B, the star and I also added some numbers to reference a “change point”, which is a point in which progress changed up or down.

So the client tells me….”hey, I messed up, I am falling behind….”.  My response is “Ok, tell me what happened”.  After they give me their best idea of what happened….then I respond by saying…now that we know a little bit about what happened, let’s map this out.  Then I draw the diagram below.  So no matter how much detail they tell me when I ask what happened I KNOW THEY LEFT OUT DETAILS.  As a coach, you will learn sooner or later that clients don’t share all the details on the first go around.  It’s because they are in the middle of it….they can’t see all the moving parts.  This is why you want to review it a 2nd time and now with a diagram so you can really detail this out.  

Hopefully this will teach your client to do this for themselves one day.

Ok, so you would think that I would ask about point 3 first…to find what happened and what caused the drop…NOPE.  Don’t start there.  As the coach you want to know all 6 transition points.  This is your chance to learn A LOT about your client.  This won’t be the first time their plan gets sabotaged.

I start with #4.  What are they thinking & feeling right now as everything is collapsing, falling apart, crashing?  I want them to share as much as they can about this experience.  I know that most of what they will share could be emotionally charged so I listen and take notes of what they are saying as they describe #4.

Then I ask what are you going to do to recover, point #5.  What are their ideas, or plan…or if they even have a plan?  Then I ask about #6, I ask how they see this plan playing out so I can see what they are creating for the vision of where to go next?

Ok, seems weird, like I am going backwards, but now I ask about #1..How did you ramp up to get moving on this? What got you motivated?  Who is your support team?  How did you stay organized?  

Next is #2 - Something happened?  What did you stop doing?  Who messed with the plan?  Did something change inside your thoughts?  Did someone say something to you?  Did your emotions get racked by something or someone?

Finally! NOW…I can ask about Point #3.  Now that I know all the other points and what is going on….the last thing I ask is, “What do you think happened for your progress to drop? Stop? Fall apart? As I am asking these questions I am pointing at the picture directly at #3.  This prompts their mind to evaluate everything else they have already shared with me….and now there’s nothing else to divulge but the juicy details of what went wrong.

The best part about the order of asking these questions and using a diagram is that it opens them up and unlocks more of the story.  Saves time as a Coach. 

Many times the client finds the answer to solving this problem while we are closing in on #3.  They start to see how this all adds up.  SOOOOOO much better when the client figures this out on their own.  Connecting the dots and raising their awareness is priceless.

PRO-TIPS

1. If for some reason you get a client who just can’t figure out what happened at #3, change the direction of thinking by asking them…”What do you think COULD have happened here if this was someone else?”  I still am baffled why this causes the answer to come out….maybe they think they are snitching on themselves, but when it now is about someone else, the answer pops out.  Weird, but it works.

2. They won’t talk about it.  They want to move on. They tell you not to worry about it and they try to downplay it.  YEP, you guessed it, they are guilty.  They most likely have been blaming others and not taking responsibility for what happened and now you are going to systematically uncover the whole story?  Ha!!  You got them!

3. They blame someone else and take ZERO responsibility.  Ok, I let them blame the other person.  And while they are blaming the other person I ask them what they other person should have done differently?  Where did they falter?  What do they need to learn?  Where do they need to make serious changes?  I let them throw the other person under the bus.  After they are finished ONLY talking about the other person I then ask, is there anything you learned from this experience?  They might now say a word…it’s ok, because they expressed it all when they ranted about the other person. (Some people are not in a place to take responsibility for their part…even if it is 10% of what went wrong)

4. The “fall” was out of their control.  This can happen.  So I still get details from all 6 points.  Then I focus in on Point 1 & 2.  I want to find out what they did or didn’t do in the ramping up of #3 happening….maybe there was something there that they could have done differently.

OK, that’s enough chat about this.  

Now experience gets to be your teacher.

Yes, we want our clients to make progress and it’s equally important to stop pressing forward and analyze where it all fell apart because if your client can’t learn how to do this….they will struggle with other mishaps along the way.  

Problem solving is as important as Goal Achievement.

LOOKING FORWARD
Next week I will be talking about Safety Guidelines as a Coach.
Yep, I was supposed to do this topic last week, but I missed it, so I will do this next week.  :-) |
Your safety is #1.
How to Be Smart and Be Safe. 

QUOTE

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