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What toddlers, movies, and jokes teach about good coaching

and how to help your client connect the dots

If you tell a toddler to do something, how do they usually respond?

The toddler:

Funny enough, adults are more like toddlers than we care to admit.

Sometimes as experienced coaches, we get so used to solving the same problems that we just wanna jump in and immediately tell people what to do to fix their problems.

There’s this idea that the best movies don’t tell the viewer exactly how all the dots connect.

Instead, they give them the dots, and let the viewer connect them on their own.

As the movie-watcher, this brings a thrill and excitement to the experience that’s so much more fun and interesting than having it all explained.

Another example is jokes.

Everyone knows that a joke that has to be explained is way, WAY less funny (if at all).

Just like good movies, a joke is potent when the listener is able to connect the dots on their own.

Is this still true with coaching?


  • are you more likely to follow someone else’s advice they told you after about 30 seconds of listening to you,

  • or to take action on what you feel you figured out on your own after a lot of thought and consideration?

More likely, you’ll follow what you feel you figured out on your own.

So practice asking questions intuitively, and ones that lead the client to their own answer.

Give them the dots, and ask questions that help them connect them on their own.

Your client will appreciate the coaching so much more, and they’re far more likely to take action on the epiphany they had.


Zac Garside helps subject matter experts, coaches, and creators fill their calendars with raving fans who are eager and ready to become your coaching clients. And his methods are centered on you becoming a great storyteller!

(Tell him I sent you and he’ll send you a free gift.)

Quote of the week:

The wise man doesn't give the right answers, he poses the right questions.

Claude Levi-Strauss

Song of the week:

- Kirk

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