How to guide your client past a wall

Hi, it’s Kirk…

Glad to know that you are out there serving others and helping them tap into their greatness.

Us coaches got to stick together.

It’s super rewarding to do this work…and it takes skill & effort.

Stick with it, we need you.

How to guide your client past a wall.

A popular saying you sooner or later will hear is, “I feel stuck”.

I started coaching 19 years ago and back then I used paper and pen to talk through what my clients were wrestling with.  I am better at coaching when I can see what it is they are talking about…so I sketch it.  Stick figure…arrows…stars…..walls….and anything else needed to visually capture what they were experiencing.

It was eye opening that when I sketched on paper what the client was saying, they would see it and realize that they had left some details out.  They would give me more of the details and I would adjust the drawing.  I then would repeat back to them the story that they were telling me.  I then would ask if there were any details missing that would be important to bring up or add.  Sure enough, there was always more.  I would keep repeating this process until the WHOLE story was out on paper in front of their own eyes.

The shocker was….this would be the first time that they actually saw their problem/challenge in so much detail and it was holding still on paper, not slipping around in their mind as fleeting thoughts charged with emotion.

I then would ask the golden question…”now that you can see this so clearly, what’s your first idea on how to fix it?”

Now comes the inspiration.  I learned in my first year of coaching that when I tried to be the know-it-all, it stressed me out, because the pressure was on me to figure out the solution.  With some prompts of asking them questions like…

  • If you were to guess at how to fix this, what would you guess?

  • What is your craziest idea on how to fix this?

  • If you were a millionaire…how would you fix this?

  • What is the idea that you already have, but are nervous to share?

  • What answers do you already have to this problem that you just don’t want to do?

  • Who could you go to that knows the answer to solve this problem?

There is a HIGH chance that your client already knows what to do.  Invest time in extracting out of them what those ideas are.  Sometimes the solution is a hybrid of a couple ideas mixed together.  I have to remind myself…I am a Coach…not google, my job is to guide them to solutions, not have them all.  So many times my client has told me that they don’t know what to do…and they push that narrative on me the whole appointment…and then at the end…they look at me in awe…because they are shocked to find out that they answer they were looking for was inside of them…buried underneath all of their worry, scarcity, lack and fear.

So before you start to worry or be overly concerned that you should be smarter than all the people in the world…so you can be a coach….stomp your feet on the ground and get centered and take on the mindset that you are a guide.  You open people up…you help them brainstorm….you draw pictures, you pull the inspiration and ideas out of them…you are different then most people…because you are relentless at believing in them and that there is a solution to their problem.

Sometimes….actually, many times, the reason a person is stuck at a wall…is because they have a relationship that’s affecting them.  So no matter what goal, opportunity or problem they are facing and they can’t figure it out….after I do the steps to pull out all the details about what is going on….I have one more big question I ask them…..”Who are you having problems with?”.  That pops the eyes open.  They don't see that question coming at them.  Who would've ever thought that a problem in a relationship could bleed over into the other areas of a person's life.  Well…it does.

Now your work is to help them iron out that wrinkle between them and the other person.

Study up on forgiveness, you most likely will be helping others take the steps to forgive the other person and themselves.   If you want, I could talk about that in next weeks email.

A person who gets “stuck” needs an outside person to look at their problem with them.

That is why you are a coach.  You are that person.

Jump in and help people. 
You don’t have to know everything.

Believe there is a solution and go searching for it with them.

Remember, fill your mind full of good things,


P.S. I don’t know if this fits your schedule or not…

Live Event:
June 6,7,8
Build It Sell It - Workshop for Coaches

Quote of the week:

Trials and tribulations tend to squeeze the artificiality out of us, leaving the essence of what we really are and clarifying what we really yearn for.

Neal. A. Maxwell

Song of the week:

This is a great song we used in one of our live seminars after we had taught the audience about forgiveness.

- Kirk

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