You know the scenario…
You hear what they said….but, you can sense that the details have been stretched.
You see it….the client is exaggerating.
Your inner lie detector can sense it.

This doesn’t make the client a bad person.
It’s actually very common for a person to exaggerate.
It can make it difficult to coach them when the details they are sharing are not accurate.
The details get inflated and distorted.
The problem seems to be HUGE to them…OVER their head.

Don’t get caught up in the drama.
See through the emotion and you may find that the facts are actually manageable.

People exaggerate details for a few different psychological, emotional, and social reasons. Here are some of the most common ones:

1. To Get Attention

• Exaggeration makes a story more dramatic or impressive.

• It grabs attention in conversations, on social media, or in presentations.
  People may feel they need to "amplify" to be seen or heard.
  Example: A minor inconvenience becomes “the worst day ever.”

2. To Shape Perception

• People want others to think highly of them (or feel sorry for them).

• They may exaggerate to seem more successful, funny, smart, victimized, or wise.
  Example: Saying they worked “nonstop for 3 days” when it was more like 6 hours.

3. To Justify Feelings or Actions

• When emotions are intense, the brain looks for matching “evidence.”

• Exaggeration can help people feel like their response is valid.
  Example: “You always ignore me” during an argument, even if it only happened once.

4. Memory Distortion

• Our brains naturally twist or inflate memories over time.

• Retelling a story again and again often makes the details shift—sometimes unintentionally.
  Example: Each time they tell it, the fish gets bigger.

5. Learned Behavior

• Some people grew up in environments where exaggeration was common—at the dinner table, in arguments, or from the media.

• It becomes a default style of communication.

6. Low Self-Esteem or Insecurity

• People may exaggerate to cover up feelings of inadequacy.
  It’s a way of creating a “larger-than-life” version of themselves.
  Example: Claiming they were the “leader” of a project when they were just a contributor.

7. To Connect or Belong

Exaggerating shared experiences can create stronger bonds with others.
It can help someone feel “in” with a group by playing up how much they relate.

Here’s 7 different angles on how to handle someone’s exaggerations.
Be merciful to yourself as you test and try these.
Remember, most people don’t realize they are exaggerating.

1. Pause Before Reacting

• Don’t jump in with “That’s not true!” right away. Exaggerators are often emotionally driven, not fact-driven in the moment.

Why it helps: Interrupting too soon can make them defensive or embarrassed, which usually makes them double down.

2. Look for the Emotion Behind the Exaggeration

Ask: What are they trying to express by exaggerating?
  Often, they’re trying to feel seen, validated, or understood.

🔍 Tip: Respond to the emotion, not the accuracy.
“Wow, sounds like that was super overwhelming for you”
—instead of—
“There’s no way that took 10 hours.”

3. Use Humor or Gentle Questions (if appropriate)

Sometimes playful questioning helps deflate the exaggeration without shaming.

“Wait—was it really 10 spiders in the bathtub or just one giant one?”
“You’ve told this story before, and each time the fish gets bigger 😄”

4. Redirect to Truth Without Accusation

If accuracy matters (like in work, planning, or safety), calmly ask for specifics.

“I want to get this right—can we double-check the details together?”
“That sounds intense. Just to be clear for the report—how long was the delay, actually?”

5. Set Boundaries If It Becomes Manipulative

If their exaggeration is used to guilt-trip, create drama, or avoid responsibility, it's okay to speak up.

“I really want to support you, but when things are blown out of proportion, it’s hard for me to know how to help.”
“I respect you more when we can talk about the real facts.”

6. Talk Privately If It’s a Pattern

If it’s bothering you regularly, have a direct but kind conversation. Don’t shame—be curious.

“Hey, I’ve noticed sometimes the way you describe things seems a bit over the top. Are you feeling like you’re not being heard?”
“Can we agree to keep things honest and clear between us? I really value that.”

7. Recognize When to Let It Go

Not every exaggeration needs to be challenged. Ask yourself:

• Does it hurt anyone?

• Is it just their way of storytelling?

• Is it more about their insecurity than deception?

If it’s harmless, sometimes the best response is to smile, nod, and move on.

Reframe to Keep Your Sanity:

"This isn’t about facts—it’s about feelings."

• If you treat exaggeration as an emotional broadcast, not a lie to bust, you’ll stay grounded and more connected.

As a coach, we are here to guide, motivate and clarify what the client is experiencing.
We are that extra set of eyes on their life.
When your client starts to realize they are exaggerating and they make a shift to cut back on this way of being, this can be a huge breakthrough for them.

The bottom line is…..exaggeration causes additional problems, because it’s self-deception.
That’s the last thing anyone needs right now.

I hope this message was helpful.
Ya’know… it might be a good idea to watch for your own exaggerations.
Catch them ... .and correct it in the moment.
It will make you a better coach.

Stay strong.
Kick out the negative voices in your head. 
Go barefoot in the grass.

Awesome!
Coach Kirk

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Coach Kirk