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Body Language: Micro-Expressions
When I stepped into the world of coaching I wanted to be the type of coach that would stand out in my clients life. I didn’t want to be like everyone else. Since I was so new at it….I did what I could to become a great listener. I didn’t know that listening would involve watching and interpreting signals and “tell” signs from their movements. I was becoming a body language student.
This skill has served me well over the years. It’s been the key factor of breakthroughs, discoveries and success.
Some body language movements happen fast and are very short. They are called microexpressions. Sooner or later you will find this to be valuable. I’ll be honest, it’s tough to learn. But once you see it, you can’t unsee it. Here we go….
What is a Microexpression?
Microexpressions are very fast, involuntary facial expressions that flash for 1/25 to ⅕ of a second.
They happen:
Before someone filters themselves
When emotion leaks before the story is constructed
When the nervous system reacts before the mind edits
They reveal primary emotion, not the social mask.
The 7 Core Microexpressions - Universal across cultures These were identified in research by Paul Ekman. |  |
A coach should learn to recognize these first.
Fear What you’ll see:
What it indicates:
|  |
Coaching signal translation:
When someone says, “I’m fine”, but fear flashes - Their body doesn’t feel safe yet.
Anger What you’ll see:
What it indicates:
|  |
Coaching signal translation:
If anger flashes while telling a “neutral” story - There is unresolved resentment or boundary injury.
Sadness What you’ll see:
What it indicates:
|  |
Coaching signal translation: |
Sadness under anger = pain OR sadness under humor = hidden grief.
Disgust What you’ll see:
What it indicates:
|  |
Coaching signal translation:
If they show disgust while talking about themselves - That’s internalized shame.
Contempt What you’ll see:
What it indicates
|  |
Coaching signal translation:
When seen, ask what other thoughts they have about what they just said. Most people won’t express this thought/feeling. They will be surprised you “caught” it.
Surprise What you’ll see:
What it indicates:
|  |
Coaching signal translation:
New insight landing…ask them what just came to them or what they just realized.
Happiness What you’ll see in genuine joy:
Fake smile:
What it indicates:
|  |
Coaching signal translation:
When you see a fake smile, know that there is information they are holding back. They have withdrawn. Whatever they talk about, it will be in pieces. If you want to know more, you’ll have to ask. If you ask too much, you will see them shut down.
Here’s a few more nuggets of info to watch for…..
The Golden Rule: DO NOT ASSUME
WRONG = “You’re angry”
RIGHT = “Something shifted just now. What happened inside?”
You are facilitating awareness, not declaring truth.
The Practice
Listen to what the person is talking about.
Watch the face.
When a “flash” appears, say… “Pause, What just happened?”
Don’t interpret….This invites them to share.
Ok, that was a lot to learn.
Save this email somewhere for a reference.
Start today by noticing the small quick movements that show up on peoples faces.
They are there and they happen all the time.
If you're interested in additional skills to improve your coaching abilities check out my Empath training at this link 3ke.to/empathskill this is another eye opener. Incredible skill to have to stand out as a coach. You might not be an empath, but you do have empath abilities…it’s the ability to sense information about people and to understand them quickly and deeply.
Awesome!
Kirk
Coach Kirk
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